Archive for February, 2010
A Powerful Question
Posted by: | CommentsWe ARE what we think about all day long.
If you want to know what you think about, look at your life. Your life is simply the manifestation of all your thoughts over all the years of your life.
If you want your life to be different, you have to THINK differently. This can be a challenge because, as recent studies have shown, the brain is neurologically programmed to notice what isn’t working. In terms of our evolution, this has been a good thing. When you’re in a jungle, you have to look for what’s wrong in order to survive.
Now that we don’t have to keep an eye out for tigers and charging lions, we can step forward into a new way of thinking. This way involves scanning your environment not for what’s wrong, but for what’s right.
As psychologist Martin Seligman, the godfather of the positive psychology moment, has shown, we can learn to be optimists. Optimists consistently talk about what they are rather than what they are not, or what they have instead of what they don’t have. Pessimists talk about why things are not the way they should be and what they don’t have.
If you want to start “inclining the mind” as the Buddhists say, towards what is positive, here is a great tool. Ask yourself this questions throughout your day: “How might this be a good thing?”
This question will get you searching for the positive. It will start training your mind to work the world differently than how it’s been programmed to do. It’s a great start. Let me know how it goes.
Brain Evolution
Posted by: | CommentsI have been talking about how the brain has a neurological proclivity for looking for what’s wrong. In the past, that’s been an important survival mechanism. When we were in the jungle, we had to be on the look out for threat all the time.
But now that we’re out of the jungle, it’s time to compensate for this proclivity and remind ourselves to think differently–in the same way we have to remind ourselves that the world is round even though it looks absolutely flat.
We also have a brain proclivity to bond into groups and to view those who are outside that group as a threat. This isn’t something to be embarrassed about, it’s just something the brain does–it makes us favour our ‘home’ group, whether that’s our gender, our race, our religious affiliation, our gang of friends etc.
When we evolve and heighten our awareness, we can compensate for this. So the question isn’t, “Am I prejudiced?” –of course, you’re prejudiced! The question is, “How am I prejudiced?”
That’s the question that’s going to put new neurological pathways down in the brain. And give us the freedom to be happy that we’re all looking for.
Snapshots of Happiness
Posted by: | CommentsI am exploring tools and techniques for experiencing happiness more. Here’s one I am working with. Try it and see how it works for you. It’s a bit similar to the ‘FreezeFrame’ technique the HeasrtMath people have developed, but this one has a different focus.
Here’s how it goes.
When you are experiencing something pleasant, take an “sensograph” or “energy photograph” of how the event feels in your body. For example, this morning when I was in the shower, I took a “sensograph” of the experience of it in that moment. I heard the pounding sound of the water as it hit my shower cap, I felt the warm water sluicing down my back and arms and how it moved along my hands and fingers, I noticed the feeling of the hot water dribbling down my right ankle and the easy, happy feeling in my belly as all this was happening.
Once I had all the details in focus, I kind of ‘snapped the picture of it by taking in a long slow breath and breathing it into my memory. I know it’s still there because now, when I close my eyes, I can relive it. Just like one can relive a photograph.
I’d love some comment if anyone gives this a try!
CIGARETTES AND HAPPINESS
Posted by: | CommentsWhich do you think takes more years off your life? Cigarette smoking or being unhappy?
When I first was asked this question, I thought the answer would be cigarette smoking–after all, in the last few years, the media has been hammering us with all the nefarious facts of just how unhealthy cigarette smoking is.
But, as you’ve probably guessed by now, being happy is the horse to bet on. Recent studies have shown that although cigarette smoking will take 3 years off your life, being unhappy will take a full 9 years off your life! That’s six more years!
To my way of thinking, who cares if you live longer if you’re not happy anyway? It’s like having a fridge full of the flavour of ice cream you don’t care for… so what?
So, there are two important facts here…. being happy not only will extend your life significantly but it will make those years far more satisfying.
May you be happy!
Karen
RESILIENCE
Posted by: | CommentsIf you read the last post, you heard about the interesting study that proves happy people are more resilient. In the study, happy people were able to put their hands in a jar of ice water and hold it there longer than people who weren’t happy.
Here are some other characteristics that happy people have:
* They live longer.
* They are healthier.
* They’re more likely to be leaders in their field.
* They are more likely not only to BE married but to STAY married.
So, getting yourself happy may sound like something fluffy, something that really isn’t very important, a kind of EXTRA thing to do in life, but it’s really of central importance.
Unfortunately, many people think happiness is something that has to come from outside of them. But the truth is, you came into the world with lots of happiness already inside you. Becoming happier is more about letting go of all that covers it up than trying to install something new.
If you want to explore this, here’s an exercise for you. Today, just notice the small things you feel happy about. And notice also, what take away your happiness–what thoughts, activities, feelings… This is a very revealing exercise, one that will help you get more in touch with how easy it is to ‘cultivate’ happiness.
For me, one of my small happinesses is a cup of hot lemon –I’m going to give it my full attention for a few moments now. More later.
HAPPINESS: COLD AND WET
Posted by: | CommentsHAPPINESSANYWAY.COM PRESENTS:
HAPPINESS: COLD AND WET
Okay, here’s a question for you. In a British study, two groups of people were asked to plunge their bare hands into ice cold water. One group had scored high on a happiness test and the other group scored low.
Which group do you think showed more resilience?
The group who were happy!!
This isn’t surprising. Being happy is like having money in the bank. If you get hit with a couple of unexpected expenditures, no problem–you can handle them.
Same with stress. If you have emotional health in the bank, so to speak, you’ll be able to handle any energy withdrawals more easily whether those have to do with coping with your bare hand in cold water or someone shouting at you.
If you still doubt what I’m saying, think about winning a lottery. Do you think you’d care if someone cut you off on the highway as you drove home from picking up your cheque? I rest my case.
